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Got a slurpee during lunch today.

Bonus.

Tags: slurpee

Things that can go to hell today:

1. The extremely warm temperature.
2. The fact that the Porter Square T stop was shut down.
3. Me staring at the incredibly diabolical line at the bus stop to get to Harvard Square.
4. Waiting on the wrong side of the street for the bus to get to Davis Square.
5. Running after the bus headed to Davis Square on the other side of the street.
6. The eye-wateringly bad smell emanating from the guy in front of me in the T.
7. The train stopping at Porter Square, happily showing that people are now in fact allowed to enter the Porter Square T stop, happily making my little unwanted morning adventure worthless.
8. Me wanting to take another shower as I entered work today, late.

This is one of those days that I just need ice-cream, a tight hug… and maybe a beej.

Tags: heat, ice-cream, mbta, monday

So the last couple months I’ve had this hunger, no, that isn’t it, more like an itch. It starts in the back of your head, slowly pokes at your heart, climbs up to your brain, sparks at the most inopportune moments, smiles at you on a bad day, gives you a forlorn glance on a good day, keeps you warm in your daydreams, lifts you up with the feel of something new, and eventually becomes a welcome friend that monopolizes your free time.

What am I talking about? I think I want to move out of Boston… again.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this, doubtful the move will happen, very doubtful, but then again, nothing is really holding me back either. Honestly, right now, I would completely love to just go to some random country where I didn’t know anybody, get an amazing place, an even better job, a very select few close friends, and just… be.

I think I’m just being selfish again. Maybe I just feel sorry for all the books on my shelf that I still need to read or the movies I have yet to remove from their shrink wrap. It isn’t time or solitude I’m yearning for, but more a feeling of electricity, to be running toward a finishing line, to know that my life is no longer a series of opportune chances.

Here’s hoping a lightening bolt points me in the right direction or at the very least, hits me in the arse and pushes me toward a goal, for better or worse.

I guess I’ll wait for the catalyst. But then again, life doesn’t work for people who wait, nobody wins the lottery without buying a ticket. Or I may not have to move at all…

“The voyage of discovery is not in looking for new landscapes, but in looking with new eyes.”
-Anonymous

Tags: quote, travel

This is for the time I threw the rock that hit you in the head. Bad. For smoking that cigarette to try and fit in. For not loving you back. For making plans with you for lunch and leaving you waiting. Then running into you outside afterward. For stealing $5 from your wallet for comic books. For making you cry while we walked to the restaurant. For ignoring your 4 year old cries. Then hearing you fall down the stairs. For not realizing I was being rude. For not picking up the phone. Then turning it off. For flirting with the girl you liked. And liking it when she flirted back. While you were in the room. For not realizing you loved me. For thinking I could love you back. For asking you out. For never asking you out. For saying I’ll be right back with another drink and never coming back. For making you cry on Valentine’s. For yelling at the breakfast table and storming away. For falling asleep while you were upset. For not kissing you. For kissing you. For convincing myself into believing something. For making fun of your body. For not wanting you to marry him. For still not changing my mind about him. For not loving you back. For turning my music up really loud to ruin your picnic. For making fun of your job. For coveting your wife. For lying about my computer crash to get a better grade. For not stopping you from hitting that child. For not stopping you from hitting my aunt. For not helping you up when you fell from your crutches. For not loving you sisters equally. For forging your signature. Multiple times. For not loving you enough while you were still living. Both of you. For charging you too much. For not respecting you enough. For not loving you back. For mentioning obscure music to make myself sound cooler than you. For not helping you load the car when you obviously needed help. For not giving you another chance. For acting like I didn’t hear what you said. For acting like I’m fine when I’m not. For lying about oversleeping so I wouldn’t have to see you. For being selfish. For ruining what we had. For not offering to pay for lunch. For assuming that you would. For not wanting to be friends with you because I hate your wife. For convincing myself you felt the same way. For being a fickle bastard. For blinding myself from the truth. For not having enough willpower. For being a really fickle bastard. And most of all, for not loving you back.

TB
Cambridge, MA
June 2, 2008

It’s been a week and a half, my neck/upper-back pain has been having its ups and downs. Today was supposed to be my first 5.5 mile race, I’m pretty positive I’m skipping it because I’m really really hurting today and it seems to be getting worse as the day goes along.

So I’m honestly going to go to the doctor Monday if it doesn’t get better, 2 weeks of non-stop pain, that’s all I can take I think. My sleep has been junk too and not to mention I can’t go running either.

Gawd I hope there is a physical reason for all of this, because if I go to the doc and she says it’s all psychological or chalks it up to stress… punch in the face!

Tags: body, doctor, running

I was in love last night, I was ready to propose… “Will you marry me ibuprofen?” I was ready to ask. Well it’s a good thing I didn’t, it one-night-standed me up.

Last night before I went to bed I tossed a pill. Great, much better, still hurts, can’t do yoga or anything, but a lot better. Woke up this morning around 10am, in pain. No biggie, my lover shall save me. Took a pill… hours later, still in pain.

What the hell?

I’m thinking if this doesn’t get better by Tuesday morning, I’m calling in sick and going to the hospital. I Googled ‘neck pain’ and ‘running’ and some of the hits mentioned spinal injuries, freaked me out, just because I’ve had muscle pain before, but it has never been this bad or lasted this long.

Hmm, or it could be cancer. Does cancer of the neck exist?

The most annoying thing? I can’t even take a leak properly, just because I can’t look down to see if my penis is at the right angle or not, makes the post-leak shake a bit tougher too.

The second worst pain so far? Drying my hair with a towel after the shower. I just ended up putting the towel over my head and hoped I could maybe sponge up some moisture. The worst pain, tossing and turning in bed, I swear I’d die for a few minutes every time I’d turn my head on the pillow.

Pray for Mojo.

Tags: body, running

I woke up out of breath around 5am this morning. Why? I had turned to get on my side while sleeping… it effing hurt. After I calmed down a little, I took about a minute and half to get out of bed ever so gently, grabbed two pills of ibuprofen, and gulped them down with some water (I am extremely grateful to my strange need to always have some water available on my desk nearby).

Woke up again around 9am, I guess the ibuprofen wore off. I’m not a fan of ingesting medicine (call it a fear of building up a tolerance, same reason I try not to ingest much caffeine) so I haven’t taken any more. I probably will, because just standing up is a huge effort. Maybe just one pill if it gets too bad.

Gawd, I feel like an old man.

Needless to say my trip today is canceled. I feel bad because I was supposed to give two of my friends a ride to NY too, they now have to make other arrangements, most likely Greyhound or the Fung Wah.

I’m going to be spending the entire long weekend in front of the TV, a book, or the monitor, which is fine by me.

Maybe I’ll ring up some of my doctor friends for some free medical advice. Do you think that’s rude? They’re friends right, they wouldn’t care. Hell, I ping Letters all the time for legal advice, he doesn’t give a shit (do you Letters?). Ironic since my sister is a lawyer. I know I wouldn’t care if people called me up for any Bioinformatics or Computer Science questions, I sure as hell know I average about one free consultation a week from my friends about tech advice.

Tags: body, travel