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So the last couple months I’ve had this hunger, no, that isn’t it, more like an itch. It starts in the back of your head, slowly pokes at your heart, climbs up to your brain, sparks at the most inopportune moments, smiles at you on a bad day, gives you a forlorn glance on a good day, keeps you warm in your daydreams, lifts you up with the feel of something new, and eventually becomes a welcome friend that monopolizes your free time.

What am I talking about? I think I want to move out of Boston… again.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this, doubtful the move will happen, very doubtful, but then again, nothing is really holding me back either. Honestly, right now, I would completely love to just go to some random country where I didn’t know anybody, get an amazing place, an even better job, a very select few close friends, and just… be.

I think I’m just being selfish again. Maybe I just feel sorry for all the books on my shelf that I still need to read or the movies I have yet to remove from their shrink wrap. It isn’t time or solitude I’m yearning for, but more a feeling of electricity, to be running toward a finishing line, to know that my life is no longer a series of opportune chances.

Here’s hoping a lightening bolt points me in the right direction or at the very least, hits me in the arse and pushes me toward a goal, for better or worse.

I guess I’ll wait for the catalyst. But then again, life doesn’t work for people who wait, nobody wins the lottery without buying a ticket. Or I may not have to move at all…

“The voyage of discovery is not in looking for new landscapes, but in looking with new eyes.”
-Anonymous

So I’ve been pissing all over 2008 lately, but today I heard about Jeff Pulver (the VoIP visionary), resigning from his company. This is pretty big news in the VoIP arena, especially since Jeff is so likable. He didn’t mention why he left, but he did mention this:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
– Mark Twain

This is extremely ironic, just because those are honestly the exact words that come to mind whenever I’m faced with a decision. So 2008, you may be a bitch-demon, but I will still be victorious.

I, like most people I hope, have obviously done some things here and there that I regret doing, but I have absolutely done nothing so far that I regret not doing. I came close though in the last couple weeks, but strangely enough, failure is surprisingly satisfying.

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
– Anonymous

I feel hungry.